[Enhancement] improve cloud native pk table memory cost when handle large ingestion

[luohaha]

Why I'm doing:

In current implementation, if one ingest in tablet has multi segment files, and SR will load all segment file state at once, which will cost lots of memory if this ingestion is large, and it will lead to OOM. We need to avoid OOM when handle large ingestion.

What I'm doing:

1. Load segment files one by one, so max memory use by one tablet when publish version will be less than 100MB, because max memtable when loading is 100MB (be.conf write_buffer_size).
2. Also allow SR to preload more segment when update memory is not limited.
3. Refactor the code.

What type of PR is this:

• BugFix
• Feature
• Enhancement
• Refactor
• UT
• Doc
• Tool

Does this PR entail a change in behavior?

• Yes, this PR will result in a change in behavior.
• No, this PR will not result in a change in behavior.

If yes, please specify the type of change:

• Interface/UI changes: syntax, type conversion, expression evaluation, display information
• Parameter changes: default values, similar parameters but with different default values
• Policy changes: use new policy to replace old one, functionality automatically enabled
• Feature removed
• Miscellaneous: upgrade & downgrade compatibility, etc.

Checklist:

• I have added test cases for my bug fix or my new feature
• This pr needs user documentation (for new or modified features or behaviors)
  • I have added documentation for my new feature or new function
• This is a backport pr

Bugfix cherry-pick branch check:

• I have checked the version labels which the pr will be auto-backported to the target branch
  • 3.3
  • 3.2
  • 3.1
  • 3.0
  • 2.5

[github-actions]

[FE Incremental Coverage Report]

✅ pass : 0 / 0 (0%)

[github-actions]

[BE Incremental Coverage Report]

✅ pass : 315 / 337 (93.47%)

file detail

	path	covered_line	new_line	coverage	not_covered_line_detail
🔵	be/src/storage/lake/rowset_update_state.cpp	209	227	92.07%	[84, 212, 269, 271, 292, 304, 308, 309, 310, 311, 313, 314, 347, 348, 353, 354, 701, 720]
🔵	be/src/storage/lake/update_manager.cpp	91	95	95.79%	[414, 458, 525, 532]
🔵	be/src/storage/lake/rowset_update_state.h	12	12	100.00%	[]
🔵	be/src/storage/lake/update_manager.h	2	2	100.00%	[]
🔵	be/src/storage/lake/delta_writer.cpp	1	1	100.00%	[]

[github-actions]

@Mergifyio backport branch-3.3

[github-actions]

@Mergifyio backport branch-3.2

[mergify]

backport branch-3.3

✅ Backports have been created

• #46216 [Enhancement] improve cloud native pk table memory cost when handle large ingestion (backport #45685) has been created for branch branch-3.3

[mergify]

backport branch-3.2

✅ Backports have been created

• #46217 [Enhancement] improve cloud native pk table memory cost when handle large ingestion (backport #45685) has been created for branch branch-3.2 but encountered conflicts

[luohaha]

ignore backport check: 3.2.8